Are You A Bipolar Warrior?

Are you fighting the good fight for your mental health? Do you imagine the struggle for wellness as a war? Is it a battle every time you decide to attend therapy to yourself open to heal? What about when you're on the way to a psych appointment teetering on canceling because screw this?

"Ringing the bell" for bipolar?

Long ago, in the before times of about 2000, I read an article that discussed cancer and "ringing the bell." I can't seem to locate the article again, so I apologize for the lack of a link.

Anyway, "ringing the bell" thing is literal. Many cancer centers have a bell to ring when the patient passes an important milestone in their battle for wellness, like finishing chemotherapy. That way the patient could acknowledge their success and give a morale boost to others.

The article discussed how some entities were moving away from the narrative of "battling" or "fighting" cancer. As inspirational as it is for many people, it subconsciously communicates a lot of negative things to people not "winning" their fight.

Battles have winners and losers

There are parallels to our world in mental health. A battle has winners and losers, but that's not how it works with mental illness. Even if you "win," you still have to manage your health to stay stable. It's not like bipolar disorder is defeated and just disappears.

Furthermore, it's not "losing" if treatment isn't going well or you're struggling with compliance. Sometimes people do everything right and their treatment doesn't work well, and compliance is much more difficult than many people without a mental illness understand.

The "battle" narrative with bipolar disorder

At the start, I was deep into the "battle" narrative. I was angry, and it was easier to think of my mental illness as something to defeat. It was an easy way to channel that anger, but then I started connecting with people.

I met people who had their self-esteem and self-worth abused out of them. I met people that could not see a strong person when they looked in a mirror. I met people who've spent decades trying to find some peace of mind and stability. I met people despondent because their loved ones blame them for not fighting hard enough.

These aren't people that are able to see themselves as "warriors" despite the admirable strength they exhibit every single day by just continuing on.

Are you a bipolar warrior?

No. I'm not.

I'm a regular guy who was dealt a hand in this life that includes bipolar depression and all of the ugly things that go along with that. I'm a guy that goes to my doctor appointments, takes my meds, stays (mostly) sober, and monitors myself to maintain wellness.

If things aren't going well, it's not because I'm losing a battle, it's because that's just how it goes sometimes. It's not time to curl up and die. No, instead it's just time for me to talk to my professionals to adjust my approach.

Follow whatever inspires YOU

That's not to say that I'm trying to convince you of what does and does not inspire you. If that narrative inspires you, more power to you. Keep on keepin' on.

On the other hand, it's okay to not see yourself as a warrior.

Even if things are going well right now, it doesn't mean they always will. Just because you don't see a warrior when you look in the mirror doesn't mean you're not strong because you're struggling. If you've had the shit kicked out of your self-esteem and self-worth by assholes, it doesn't mean you're not valuable. (Fuck those assholes.)

There are no winners or losers in bipolar disorder

It's not a battle to win or lose. We're treating an illness. If things are going well, it's just time to talk to your providers. That's all.

Be well. And remember – take your meds as directed. If you're having a hard time on them, want to quit or change them, talk to your doctor before you do anything.