Why Are You Crying? How to Fight Weepiness

When I'm depressed, I cry all the time. I cry at the drop of an eyelash, it seems. Psychiatrists typically call this weepiness or tearfulness.¹

And while crying is healthy and can be cathartic, crying all the time – or being "weepy" – isn't necessarily helpful. So, I've thought of various ways to fight weepiness.

Crying and weepy with bipolar disorder

The first thing that matters is understanding why you're weepy. Depression may be the cause, but so can many other things. It could be grief, loss, or another strong emotion that is manifesting as weepiness.

It's critical to have this understanding and self-awareness because the underlying emotion needs to be dealt with in order to banish the weepiness for good. Just "not crying" isn't the answer.

Grief vs. depression

If what you’re dealing with is grief, for example, you would want to work through that grief, possibly with the help of a therapist, so that you don’t feel weepy in the first place.

For me, my weepiness is driven by depression. I generally have to deal with the depression by tweaking my medication. However, I also have to fight my weepiness in the meantime while things are getting sorted out medically.

Fighting intrusive tears

Weepiness is almost like an intrusive thought for me – it's intrusive tears. So, what I like to do when that happens is to employ as much distraction as I need to move my attention from the tears to something else.

Because my weepiness is so strong, this distraction has to be equally strong. This might mean singing along to loud, happy music while cooking dinner. That's 3 distractions in one: listening, singing, and cooking.

Anything to distract from crying

Something else that might work for me is writing while I have the TV on. Just writing alone may not be enough to distract my brain from its urge to cry.

Conversations with friends are another great option. When I'm wrapped up talking with another person about cheerier things, the tears get farther away. Many people find vigorous exercise useful here, too.

Other ways to manage crying with bipolar disorder

While distraction is my go-to method, there are other things I've found to fight that crying urge, too. These include:

• Mindfulness – Focusing on the here and now without judgment can help. Mindfulness meditation may be part of that.
• Thought stopping and thought switching – I have developed the ability to thought stop-and-switch. I do this by saying "stop" to myself – out loud if necessary. Then, I purposefully focus on thinking about something I have previously determined will not elicit more tears.
• Being kind to myself – While crying all the time feels awful, beating myself up for doing it is even worse. I purposefully do something nice for myself to remind myself that good things are possible, too.
• Spending time with a pet – Animals are great healers. I find that holding my kitty in my arms and listening to her purr helps with a myriad of issues.

Sometimes, you just have to let it out

And finally, there is the option of just crying. While weeping at work or at the playground with your kids is less than ideal, if you're in a safe space, just giving in to the tears in the short term can be a relief.

It's impossible to fight weepiness all the time. I like to give myself the time and space to just feel the weepiness. I don't allow this to continue forever – I don't want to fall down that rabbit hole – but that doesn't mean that a short span spent crying can't help.

It's OK to be weepy

I know that no one likes to feel like crying all the time – I certainly don't – but it's a very human thing. There is nothing wrong with you for being weepy. There are times in life when this just may be your default state.

So, cry when it's safe, use coping techniques when it's not, and get the help you need to address the underlying issue. The tears will stop, eventually.