A Little Backyard Mindfulness

I love water. I lived within sight of a pretty big river in Wisconsin for over 7 years before we moved to Minnesota last summer. I loved going out on the patio and just watched the river flow, gently, yet powerfully and unrelentingly, hour after hour, day after day. Just a peaceful constant in my life.

Finding mindfulness in nature

When we moved, I completely underestimated how much this touch of tranquility subconsciously aided in mindfulness. Try as I might, we couldn't find anything reasonably priced within view of water. We found a nice little house within a few blocks of the river, but it just wasn't the same.

I found myself walking to the river often; however, it's less than satisfactory when you have to leave your room or the front porch to soak in the calmness. This is especially true when it's -10 degrees outside.

It's pretty safe to say that this wasn't the only thing I missed when we moved.

Needing a support system and routine with bipolar

As someone living with bipolar 2, generalized anxiety disorder, and PTSD, this kind of change had its challenges. Particularly, living so far away from my support system, my routine, and my previous safety nets.

I wasn't working and didn't have a friend within four hours from where I found myself. I needed something.

Needing new coping tools

Well, it all started with the birds. One of my closest friends bought us 3 bird feeders before we moved. One day, I was finally bored enough to put 2 of them up. Next thing I knew, there were a couple of cardinals and a beautiful blue jay in the backyard. Naturally, I took a few minutes to watch and marvel at their colors up close.

That Friday, I told my therapist that things were not going well. I felt extremely lost and confused. While we were talking, I mentioned the birds. Much to my confusion, she got very excited.

Mindfulness and bipolar

She enlightened me on the finer points of mindfulness. It's as simple as taking a few minutes out to watch and notice the birds and alter my perspective.

So I got excited about the birds. And what happens when we (those of us living with bipolar) get excited about something? We get all of the things.

Making my own little sanctuary

We now have 5 bird feeders, 2 suet feeders for the woodpeckers, and if it weren’t for the starlings (very aggressive and annoying), there would be nothing but a peaceful bliss in the backyard. Even in the dead of winter, our backyard was full of life.

I added grass seed to the dirt spots, cleaned up a few more and added some colorful plants. It is now green on three sides and full of birds, rabbits, squirrels and chipmunks (even some flowers, though copious amounts of red pepper flakes were used in this endeavor).

It's not water, but it provides me something to watch, something to take my mind off of the difficulty of life and somewhere to sit in nature when that is all I can do.

Learning to just be with bipolar

This spring we added the finishing touch, a fire pit. While there's a fine line between enjoying fires and loving fire, I fall right in the middle. In reality, it's perfect. I’m sitting by the fire right now as I type.

The crackling, smores, and quiet right in the middle of the city is a great way to just sit and be. It is also the hardest thing for many of us to do. It's also a hell of a lot cheaper than drinking and gambling – safer too.

Pressing the reset button

There is no one thing that leads to stability living with bipolar disorder. However, there are certain things we ascribe credit to that can be replaced once we get through the difficulty of change itself. (Don't get me started on Starbucks’ new iced coffee, ugh.)

I'll always miss the water and aim to live close once again. For now though, my (very) little backyard is truly all I need to let go for a minute and find a little beauty and peace in nature, the best reset button there is.