Being Bipolar and Feeding Myself: How I Built a Food System for My Bipolar Brain
I have a toxic relationship with the grocery store. When I'm feeling good and productive, I walk in with RECIPES, a LIST, and PLANS. Oh, we're cooking this week, baby! $300 later, I come home, put everything away... and order DoorDash. Then I forget I bought groceries until I discover $47 worth of vegetables have gone on to glory. Rest in peace.
Just like I had to organize my home for MY brain, I've had to figure out how to feed myself for my brain. Living with bipolar disorder means my capacity isn't always the same. Sometimes I have the energy to shop, cook, and plan ahead. Other times, deciding what I want to eat feels like one decision too many. The key is taking advantage of the times when I DO have capacity to prepare for the times when I DON'T.
When you've got the energy, use it to cook ahead
When I have the energy to cook, I make enough to last a few days because tomorrow's version of me may not have the same energy. SIMPLE foods are my best friend, especially all-in-one meals. Give me something I can throw into one pot, season, shake around, and eat. We do not need 3 pans, 17 ingredients, and a culinary degree to make dinner.
My rules are simple:
- Cook once and make enough for a few days.
- Choose meals with as few steps as possible.
- One-pot and all-in-one meals are your FRIEND.
- Buy the pre-cut, pre-diced, frozen shortcut.
- Freeze proteins in smaller portions so you only defrost what you need.
That last one has saved me because I'll defrost meat with every intention of cooking it, my energy changes, and 3 days later I'm looking at that chicken like, Damn. Future Me does not need a family pack of chicken thighs thawing because Tuesday Me was feeling ambitious. Know thyself. Portion accordingly.
Building a capsule kitchen around foods I actually eat
I've essentially created a capsule wardrobe for food. Just like a capsule wardrobe has reliable staples you can mix and match, I keep foods in my kitchen that work together in different combinations.
I always have ground chicken or turkey, chicken thighs, tortillas, frozen onions and bell peppers, diced potatoes, eggs, cheese, sausage, bacon, yogurt, fresh fruit, and spinach. Those are MY staples. Yours should be foods YOU reliably eat, not what Instagram says a responsible adult should have in her refrigerator.
Build your capsule kitchen
Here's how to build your own capsule kitchen for low-energy days.
- Pick 2–3 proteins you actually eat. What do you reliably eat?
- Pick 2–3 easy bases. Tortillas, rice, potatoes, pasta, bread, whatever works.
- Pick vegetables requiring almost no work. Frozen, pre-diced, bagged, YES. Convenience is NOT cheating. If somebody has already washed, chopped, or diced it, thank you for your service. We are not competing on Chopped.
- Pick your grab-and-eat foods. Things requiring approximately zero executive function. Mine are yogurt and fruit. Yours might be string cheese, cereal, or applesauce.
- Pick your "I will ALWAYS eat this" meal. Mine is tacos.
Find your taco: the easy meal you'll always eat
Tacos are infrastructure in my house. I LOVE tacos and can eat them every day, so tortillas are ALWAYS stocked.
- Ground turkey? Taco.
- Chicken? Taco.
- Eggs and cheese? Breakfast taco.
- Leftover meat and spinach? Taco.
- Cheese and a tortilla? Quesadilla taco.
Everybody needs to find their taco. Maybe yours is pasta, a sandwich, soup, a baked potato, or a rice bowl. It doesn't matter. Find the meal you'll almost always eat, even when you don't feel like figuring out what to eat, and keep the ingredients stocked.
Working with my bipolar brain, not against it
I LOVE repetition. I can eat the same thing for WEEKS until one random morning my brain announces, "I'm off that." No warning. No discussion. No farewell tour. We are simply DONE.
Instead of fighting it, I let repetition work until it doesn't, then rotate something else into my capsule. I also use ChatGPT when I'm tired of my usual rotation. I tell it what's in my refrigerator and ask for quick, easy, delicious meals using those ingredients. Sometimes I don't need more groceries. I need somebody else to figure out what to make with the groceries I already have.
Meal planning with bipolar disorder is a love note to future me
Ultimately, I've learned that managing bipolar disorder isn't always about the big things. Sometimes it's freezing ground turkey in smaller portions or cooking enough food for 3 days because I may not have the energy tomorrow.
Most importantly, I don't expect Lower-Capacity Lianca to function like High-Capacity Lianca. When I have the energy, I look out for the version of me who might need a little help later. Sometimes that looks like opening the refrigerator and finding a meal waiting for me like a little edible love note saying, "Girl, I knew you weren't going to cook. Put this in the microwave for 2 minutes."
And I instantly think, "OMG, High-Capacity Lianca LOVES me so much!"
Because she really does.