What It's Really Like to Experience Rapid Cycling in Bipolar Disorder
Rapid cycling bipolar disorder is a form of bipolar disorder where more than 3 mood episodes are experienced in a year, although some people experience mood changes far more frequently than that, giving us ultra-rapid cycling with 4 or more episodes in a month, ultradian cycling with 4 or more days of daily mood switches, or even ultra-maximal cycling with hourly mood changes.1
While everyone with bipolar disorder experiences mood switches, when the mood switches get faster, things often get more complicated. I have experienced ultra-rapid (and faster) cycling in bipolar disorder off and on for years. The speed of cycling has had unique effects on my life.
How rapid cycling feels to someone with bipolar disorder
Depression is unbearably slow and painful. Elevated moods are unbelievably fast and energetic. Careening from one into the other is like living through a car-mangling accident: you, at the very least, get whiplash.
As anyone with bipolar disorder can tell you, it can be challenging to recognize the early signs of a mood episode. They might be subtle or harder to tune into by virtue of the mood symptoms themselves. But for a cycle that is more and more rapid, I’ve found I only just start to recognize and adjust to a mood before another one comes up right behind it, upending everything. It’s really challenging to get the right supports and coping techniques in place if what you need is constantly shifting.
It’s also possible that some mood episode symptoms will bleed into the next mood episode, resulting in periods of “mixed” moods, too. Figuring out what’s going on can be akin to teasing out the ingredients placed in a blender turned to frappé.
And there is a special kind of hell involved in not knowing what mood you will wake up with or what mood(s) the day will bring. Planning becomes impossible. How should I know if I can make an evening date? I might be suicidal by then.
How rapid cycling affects others
Of course, you’re not the only one in this equation. People all around you must contend with rapid cycling moods as well. Your loved ones may not know how to approach you if they don’t know what your mood is doing that day. They won’t know what behaviors to expect from you that day. They won’t know what your function level will be like that day. This means counting on someone with rapid cycling bipolar disorder to do something specific at a specific place and time can be very difficult. If I don’t know what my brain will be doing, how can I commit to anything? It takes the average unpredictability of life and turns it up to an 11.
Understandably, this can be very frustrating for loved ones. Some people just plain can’t handle it. And I get that. It’s like strapping people into an unending carnival ride they don’t want to be on.
How to handle rapid cycling moods
The critical thing I’ve achieved through treatment is greater mood stability. That doesn’t mean my mood is always great, but at least it isn’t switching at random, short intervals. Working with my doctor to determine how to stabilize my mood first, and dealing with lingering mood symptoms later, has worked best for me.
But on top of psychiatric treatment, psychological treatment can be very beneficial too. For example, while it can be hard to recognize mood switches, that is a skill you can improve, and a therapist can help. You likely have early warning signs you don’t even know are there, but education and therapy can help you find them. Accurately assessing your mood state so you can implement the best coping techniques and treatments can be half the battle.
This or That
When it comes to your treatment, where do you begin?
Additionally, education and therapy for those around you is a great idea. Family-focused and other types of therapy can help you function as a unit to better handle the car crashes to come.
Finally, and perhaps most importantly, showing yourself some grace works wonders. You can’t catch every mood out of the chute. You can’t apply every therapy perfectly. No treatment works all the time. Showing yourself compassion for what you’re going through can sand some of the hard edges off what can be harrowing experiences. Remember, you’re doing the best you can with an illness you didn’t ask for and isn’t your fault. And if my experience is anything to go by, it does get easier with treatment, time, and tenacity; I promise.